It's No Kiss Blogfest today! Hosted by Frankie Diane Mills! I was so bummed I missed out on Kissing Day last week. Almost kisses are one of my favorite things to write, so even though I just found out about this today, I'm determined to participate.
Here's my almost kiss scene, from my WIP #1:
I don’t know how long I cry before my breathing finally returns to normal. When I’m calm again, he rubs my back but doesn’t let go. It’s like we both become aware of how close we’re standing at the same time. His chest pressed against mine. His hands under my jacket, in the small of my back. My heartbeat speeds up when his breathing turns shallow. I lean back just far enough to tilt my head and peer up at him.
“Thanks.” My voice is barely a whisper.
The look in his eyes stops time. All at once, every nerve in my body is straining to be closer to him.
He nods, his eyes moving to my lips. “Sure.” His voice sounds rough, deeper than usual.
I’m transfixed by his mouth - remembering the softness of his lips, the way they felt against mine. Wondering what it would feel like if the kiss was for real.
His hand tugs gently at the bottom of my shirt and he bends down, his lips hovering inches from mine. Hesitating.
My breath catches in my throat. Oh God, please. I lean closer.
“Cody, didn’t you hear me call--”
The door to the house opens and with a gasp, we fly apart. Too late.
Cody’s mom stands in the doorway looking, if not stunned, then really, really surprised. “Oh,” she says, looking back and forth between Cody and me, a grin slowly forming.
I’m mortified, my face on fire, but Cody, as laid back as ever, just smiles. “Hey, mom.”
“Hi Caitlyn,” she says to me before shifting her eyes back to Cody. “I didn’t realize you were here.”
And that's that! Hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you ckeck out all the other writers that are participating! Happy New Year!
28 comments:
Gotta love when moms interrupt a the most horrible of times!!!
Great scene!
Awesome almost kiss! Great build up. I love how she was mortified and he was totally chill at the end.
What is with moms???
I guess better than a random phone call.
Good job!
Gotta love moms....
Nice job building tension. I was so ready for the kiss to happen. Great almost kiss.
That's a great almost-kissing scene! :)
oooh no! The mom interupted aaaah. This was a reallly good no kiss, I liked it a lot!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing and participating!!!
How embarrassing for Caitlyn! Nice job with the almost kiss:)
Great non-kissing scene, which rings very true, not that I've been there or anything :)
Ooh, I loved this! Great job. :)
So great!! Love the hot yearning, and the perfect interruption!
And..the mom ruins everything : ( Well, I hope they get their perfect moment eventually in your WIP, which is great BTW.
I love how the mom is the one who ruins it, yet she doesn't seem disturbed by her son's selection. I want to read more!
Woo-hoo, great almost kiss! I liked both the characters and the tension. As for Mom, well, she was pretty cool for such an awkward moment. Wonderful scene!
What a fun read! The characters were personable and real. Great scene!
Gaah...great scene! Didn't want the mum to interrupt though but I guess that's why it's called an almost-kiss scene! ;)
Ack! Parental interruption! We all know how that one goes.
Oooh, busted by the mom! Bummer! Haha, nice excerpt! :)
OOH, I really liked this. Yeah, Moms can be such a buzzkill
Haha! Great scene! I love how the mom knows what's going on! :)
~Ella
Ooo-awesome scene. I love how much you say in such a short little scene--totally makes me want to read more. Thanks for sharing and I hope you don't mind that I'm following your blog now. I'm always looking to connect with other writers!
Very nice! You do a great job of showing that Sly-Mom-Grin, and giving us that slow-mo moment.
Thanks for sharing!
I love how much tension you pack into such a brief scene, and also the rhythm of it. You have some killer, well-placed sentence fragments. Great technique!
Short and sweet. Shows the skill of a great writer.
Ah yes. I remember being interrupted by a mom or two in my teen years. Very nice scene!
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Thank you to everyone for your kind words about my scene! Hearing you want to read more makes my year!
Oych, they're lucky his mom walked in then though. I loved this scene! Nice job!
Loved it! Great job! It's always the Mom that knows just when to walk in....or rather doesn't know when NOT to walk in. =0)
It's changed since I last read it! I LOVE it!
Thanks Lacey! Yep, it went from a kiss to an almost kiss! I think it works much better that way.
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